I have parents and a brother who is 6 years older than me.

My father is rather taciturn and very kind. He is a sound engineer for the stage. I am still grateful to him for the words of encouragement he gave me to get back on my feet when my first rabbit died.

2023.12.20

Confession of guilt about my first rabbit

I got my first rabbit when I was in the 6th grade, or 12 years old, at the end of December. The reason was simple: ...

My mother is good at cooking and origami. She is good with her hands. She works as a cook in a retirement home and always makes delicious meals at home. My mother does most of the housework. I only help her a little. When I started working and asked her that I want to pay for my house, she adamantly refused. So, I eat her food every day for free and she even does the housework.

Thus, both of my parents are kind to me, and while I feel very blessed, it is also true that I feel it is difficult to live within the family.

My father has suffered from panic disorder in the past, and I believe that my psychological problems may be a genetic trait from him. Of course, I don’t think it is all his fault. Also, he was not afraid to say things like “that’s your naivete” about my difficulty with him because of his illness. His words really shocked me because I trusted and respected my father.

My mother is very overprotective and over-involved. For example, even if I say I prefer B to A, she will buy A without asking my opinion. And if I don’t use A, she becomes hysterical and grumpy. Her parents, i.e. my grandma, do the same thing to me.

My mother often enters my room without my permission and even touches my personal belongings.

I am 26 years old. However, she still gets in a very bad mood when I come home even a little late, and she still whines to me. She still seems to think of me as “her property child”. Once I complained to her that I am an adult and not your property. She replied, no, I own you. I was so shocked.

I still feel as if she is putting me in diapers and constantly monitoring me.

She also often speaks ill of her father and his work. I really don’t like it and don’t want to hear it because it makes me feel bad. I am not her trush box. I have asked her to stop, but she has not. Lately I have been focusing on not listening.

Even when we got our first rabbit, she ignored the name I came up with and named him Haru. She doesn’t seem to like the current rabbit, named Towakun by me either, and after two years, she calls it by another name. I do not like her behavior.

Both of my parents don’t really understand my illness and seem to think that my lack of energy is partly to blame. I have also talked to them a little about my asexuality and HSP, but they didn’t seem to understand and didn’t take me seriously.

Furthermore, both of my parents hide important things from me. They hide as much as possible from me about their illnesses, money, and important business decisions. I don’t know if it is because they don’t want me to worry or because they think I am still a child, but it makes me sad.

It causes me to lie to them and hide things from them too. I didn’t tell them when I wanted to die because of the pain in my life, when I had my first girlfriend, or when I went to a lesbian club.

2023.12.16

Report on a virgin’s visit to a “lesbian sex club” from Aichi to Osaka

I'm sorry, but I'm going to be very specific, so if you don't want to read this, please skip to the part you don't ...

I could just live on my own, but I can’t make up my mind to live alone because they are usually nice to me, I am sick, I can’t drive, and I have money.

My brother works as a pharmacist. He is already married and has children. Thanks to him, I believe that my parents do not ask me much about my marriage. So I am grateful to my brother.

My brother and I are not on bad terms, but we are not close either. He lives far away and I have only minimal contact with him.