My current boyfriend and I have never had sex.
We have no intention of having it in the future at this time.


How did I get into this relationship?

I am someone who does not need sex with my partner.
I still can’t really explain why I don’t need it, but it feels like “I don’t want to, so I just don’t.” Just like parents and children and siblings don’t have sex, I think the easier feeling to understand is that I don’t want to have sex with another important person like a family member.

I have asexual-leaning sexuality, but I forced myself to have sex with my ex. At the time, I could not understand the difference between loving sex and having sex with sex friends as an act of lust.
Sex as an expression of love was incomprehensible to me.
Once I had sex, I began to feel as if all my partners were the same as sex friends, people with whom I had a “suitable relationship,” and that my existence was worthless only from a sexual point of view, and my heart began to feel worn out.


Try dating without sex.

My boyfriend has asked me to go out with him on the condition that we don’t want to have sex when we go out and you are free to go to sex clubs and make friends.
I don’t know how my boyfriend really feels about this, but we are still able to get along happily so far.

He has a deep understanding of me and is very careful when touching me and tries to get a good sense of distance. We do rather a lot of hand holding, hugging, and other skinship, and it makes me feel very secure that sex is not waiting for me beyond light skinship.

I am extremely lonely and skinship is a rather important and necessary element. I used to live my life in such a way that if I held out for sex, I would have sex because I would get a hug during or afterwards. It is very comforting to be able to live without that patience.


What will we do in the future?

He is probably heterosexual and I inevitably feel guilty about the restrictions I place on his behavior. I think there is a possibility that he will become frustrated with our current relationship and we will have to discuss it.

But there is nothing I can do about worrying about the future, and we can continue to walk together through trial and error.


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